


like lemongrass and sleep

by therentistoodamnhigh



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Animal Traits, Collars, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Self-Hatred, Sickfic, i think remus may actually be the only one with a braincell here, remix fic, remus-typical commentary, they're all kinda dumb but they mean well, wolf creativitwins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29208426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therentistoodamnhigh/pseuds/therentistoodamnhigh
Summary: Roman was brilliantly smart in certain aspects, that much Remus was sure of.But Roman wasalsoincredibly fucking stupid, especially when he was sick.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57
Collections: TSS Fanworks Collective, TSS Fanworks Collective Discord: January Remix Challenge!





	like lemongrass and sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [soot and ash and blood and that's furever](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26944297) by [Odaigahara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odaigahara/pseuds/Odaigahara). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Odaigahara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odaigahara/pseuds/Odaigahara) in the [tss_fanworks_collective_discord_january_remix_challenge](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tss_fanworks_collective_discord_january_remix_challenge) collection. 



> finally finished my remix! i had so much trouble getting this written down until today when i got about half of it down in a belated burst of ideas lol
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> AO3: Odaigahara, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odaigahara
> 
> Any of my fics are eligible to be remixed, and I'm cool with any pairings changing. I would prefer not to receive explicit remixes, or any remixes containing excessive vomit/bodily fluids other than blood.
> 
> :D

Roman was brilliantly smart in certain aspects, that much Remus was sure of. 

But Roman was  _ also _ incredibly fucking stupid, especially when he was sick. 

Case in point: the red, abraded skin around Roman’s neck where he’d collared himself too tightly in order to “keep people from seeing him in a weakened state” or whatever. He just didn’t want people to know that he and Remus were truly cut from the same cloth, and Remus didn’t get it. He knew it was something to do with Patton’s moral and unsexy chokehold over the light sides, but beyond that he didn’t know and didn’t care. 

Roman whined softly in his sleep, and Remus shifted Roman’s face deeper into the crook of his neck, and Roman settled almost immediately. Roman had clung to Remus in his sleep and Remus kept an eye on the door, holding Roman close to him and watching over him as promised. Roman’s usual saccharine-safe scent had gone sideways, slightly sour with sickness, and Remus was compelled to keep him close.

Remus felt kind of bad for Roman, in all honesty. What kind of atmosphere did the other sides maintain that left Roman feeling like he couldn’t be himself? Remus wanted to drag Roman down into the dark, where no one could bother them and they would be safe, sheltered from the sun of Patton’s presence and watched over by the moon of Janus’ watchful gaze. But that would be unfair to Roman; Roman really did seem to like the others, even if they didn’t appreciate him properly, and Remus was loathe to take that from him.

There was a knock at the door and Remus instinctively growled, low and threatening with a heavy hand over Roman’s nape to keep him in place.

“It’s Logan,” said the person on the other side of the door, and the scent wafting in under the door confirmed it. “Virgil told me Roman was sick and I want to ensure that he is recovering properly.”

Logan was pack, and if nothing else Logan would make sure Roman was being properly taken care of. Remus’ priority was making sure Roman was sleeping safe and sound, so the brainiac would be able to help with that. With a small gesture, the door unlocked and drifted open a crack.

Logan slipped in with a bag in the crook of his arm and shut the door behind him. His gaze almost immediately landed on Remus. “Excellent, you’re still here,” he said quietly. “Roman needs to stay hydrated, so I brought several bottles of water, as well as an assortment of easy-to-digest food items in case his stomach is upset.”

Remus watched as Logan arranged no less than five bottles of water on the nightstand and set packages of saltines, applesauce, and bananas on the stand as well.

Roman stirred in Remus’ arms. “R’mus?” he mumbled.

“Logan brought some water and some snacks for when you feel up to it,” Remus murmured.

Roman sleepily squinted up at him and then turned to look behind him, nostrils flaring to take in the new scent, and Remus watched Logan’s eyes widen as he took in the redness around Roman’s neck.

“Oh, no wonder Virgil said I should take my first aid kit,” Logan said, quickly setting down his bag. Logan pulled the kit out and rummaged through it for the right supplies. He stood back up and made his way over to the bed, and a menacing growl pulled itself out of Remus’ chest, his chest reverberating with the sound and making Logan pull up short.

“Remus,” Logan started. “Would you prefer to apply the ointment and bandages?”

“I would, yeah,” Remus said, keeping his teeth on display. Sure help was nice, but Remus really didn’t want anyone else to be touching Roman

“Alright, I’ll set the materials on the edge of the bed.” Logan said. Slowly, he approached the bed and set the supplies down on the mattress, and then backed off.

Remus started patching up Roman’s neck, assisted with soft direction from Logan. Roman whined at the sting of the antiseptic and Remus licked at Roman’s fevered temple to calm him.

“How come- why’re you here, Lo?” Roman asked.

“Virgil informed me that you were ill. I wanted to ensure that you had the correct supplies to take care of yourself,” Logan said. He fished out an under-the tongue thermometer from his kit, looked up at them, and apparently having decided the thermometer wouldn’t survive Roman’s teeth, put it away and pulled out a different type of thermometer, one you’d point at the forehead.

At the mention of Virgil, Remus recalled that Virgil had come to him in a panic, stumbling over his words in the rush to get them out, and despite Remus’ worry for his brother, it was a relief to know that Virgil still got it, still understood how things were supposed to work.

“I know that, but- but-” Roman huffed in frustration. “You’re never here, like this.”

Logan stayed silent for a moment, looking thoughtful as he took Roman’s temperature. “That is correct, I am usually not here to help when you are sick. I had been under the impression that you did not want help, and that my assistance was unnecessary. I was-” Logan grimaced briefly before continuing, “I was wrong, I see that now. I have chosen to make amends, and to start by helping you through this illness.” The thermometer beeped, and Logan took a look at it. “A hundred-and-one degrees Farenheight,” Logan mumbled, “definitely a fever.”

“The others just called you out for being a dick, didn’t they?” Remus said, looking him in the eye.

Logan stiffened. “Well. Not in those words, exactly, but essentially yes.” He set the thermometer on the nightstand.

Roman made a mournful noise in his throat, and Remus rumbled a soft ‘I’m-right-here’ growl as he finished securing the bandages.

“They did help me see that I was in the wrong,” Logan said, faintly uncomfortable. “I have always cared for Thomas, and you are part of Thomas, Roman. I have always cared for you, even when I have not been adept at showing it.”

“Oh,” Roman said. He fell silent, absorbing the information. “Y’don’t hate me?”

Logan paused. “Of course I don’t hate you,” he said softly. “We might not get along sometimes, but I do not hate you.”

“But- I’m like  _ this _ , I’m not like you,” Roman whined.

Logan frowned, cocking his head. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“I’m a wolf, Lo! Only dark sides are wolves and stuff,” Roman said.

“That is patently untrue, only you and Remus have wolf-like traits.” 

“Y’don’t get it!” Roman said emphatically. “I’m an animal, Remus is an animal, Janus is an animal, but you’re not! You an’ Pat- you’re not- an’ even Virg- you don’t-” Roman cut himself off with a frustrated noise.

“I think I understand what you’re trying to communicate,” Logan said carefully, “but I think that this is a conversation better had when you are feeling well. In the meantime, please know that you can always ask me for help; I will always make sure you get the assistance you need.”

Roman frowned, but relaxed back into Remus’ hold anyway. “‘Kay. If you’re sure.”

“I am sure.” Logan paused a moment. “I will be back later to ensure that Roman’s bandages are changed. If there is nothing more you need for the moment, I shall leave you to rest.”

“I think we’re all good here, Specs,” Remus said.

Logan nodded. “Rest well, Roman,” He gathered up the supplies and left the room, making sure the door shut securely.

-*-

Logan made his way back to the living room and set his bag down with a sigh, noting Patton and Virgil talking quietly together.

Patton approached him in his peripheral vision. “How’s he doing?” Patton asked softly.

“He has a fever and seems out of it, but Remus is keeping watch over him,” Logan said, putting things away.

“That’s good,” Patton sighed. “I’m glad he’s letting someone help him. He always locks himself in his room when he gets sick and I get so worried for him.”

“He also seemed to be under the impression that we don’t like him due to his animalistic features,” Logan said. Having finished putting things away, he sat down on the couch, somewhat near where Virgil was sitting.

Patton gasped, looking horrified. He sat down on the other side of Virgil. “Oh no! I never wanted him to think that!”

“It is definitely not the impression I’d like for him to have,” Logan agreed.

“What do we do, Logan?” Patton asked, distraught. “How do we show him we care about him?”

“It’s probably best if we wait until he’s feeling better for any displays of affection, Patton,” Logan said. “He seemed fairly out of it, so if you want the message to stick, it’ll be better to wait until his mental faculties are all in order.”

“Yeah, he was super delirious,” Virgil said. “Remus can probably get through to him, but there’s no way we are.”

“All we can do for now is wait for Roman to recover, I believe.” Logan said.

Patton made a distressed noise in his throat, looking like he was about to cry.

“We can brainstorm some ideas for Roman, if you want, Patton,” Virgil said.

“That sounds good, thank you, Virge,” Patton sniffled.

Logan decided to leave them to it and made his way back to his room to get some work done, only to be stopped outside his door by Janus.

“How’s our resident drama queen doing?” Janus asked.

“Which one?”

Janus huffed a laugh through his nose. “Roman. How’s he doing?”

“He’s got a fever and seems out of it, but he’s not doing too poorly,” Logan said. “Remus is looking after him and seemed fairly protective of him when I went in.”

Janus nodded. “Remus will take good care of him.”

There were a few moments of silence where neither of them moved.

“Virgil told me Roman had collared himself,” Logan said quietly. “He said I should bring my first aid kit. When I went to check in on Roman, he had abrasions all around his neck, and I got the impression he thought we were supposed to hate him.”

Janus hummed a noise of acknowledgement.

“I want to help him understand that this is not the case but...” Logan fidgeted with his tie. “I’m not particularly adept at the whole ‘expressing emotions’ thing and I don’t want to give him the wrong impression.”

“You’ll figure something out,” Janus said confidently.

“Mm.”

Janus examined Logan’s expression. “Care to play some chess with me?” he asked.

“That sounds satisfactory,” Logan said slowly. “Your room or mine?”

-*-

Roman was more lucid when Remus woke him up for some food the next day.

“I feel like garbage, Ree,” Roman complained, handing a water bottle back to Remus.

“No shit sherlock, you’ve had a fever for like three days,” Remus said, setting the water bottle on the stand.

“Has it really been that long?” Roman flopped back onto Remus.

“Yeah, you’re basically Jesus, bro!”

Roman groaned, burying his face in the pile of his packmates’ things.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, interrupted only by Roman periodically blowing his nose.

“You gotta talk to them, Ro,” Remus said.

“I don’t wanna.”

“You gotta.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“I refuse.”

Remus sighed. “You feel like a piece of shit right now, and I can guarantee you Logan and Virgil have been updating the others and that  _ they _ feel like shit for letting  _ you _ feel like shit, and then we’re all just one great big pile of shit, and not even the fun kind.”

“Gross.”

“No, it’s just lame as fuck.” Remus grabbed Roman’s chin and made him look him in the eye. “Listen. I know you like to be dramatic as hell, and yeah it’s fun, but miscommunication is also a boring trope, so one way or another, you’re gonna talk to them.”

“Fiiiine,” Roman whined.

Remus nodded and let go of Roman’s face.

“Can I at least wait until I’m ready?”

Remus’ face softened. “‘Course. And when you are, I’ll be there the whole fuckin’ time to back you up.”

Roman smiled. “Thanks, Remus.”

“No biggie. Now eat these crackers or I’ll bring Logan in to force-feed you.”

“What?! No!”

-*-

When Roman was finally feeling well again, Remus badgered him into leaving his room and talking to the others.

Patton was the first one to spot them.

“Roman!” Patton exclaimed, coming over to them. “I’m so glad to see you out and about! How are you feeling?”

“Much better, no thanks to this guy over here,” Roman said, elbowing Remus in the side.

“Hey!”

“Ah, Roman,” Logan greeted. “You’re looking much better.”

“Thanks, I’m just glad I can go back to doing things!”

“Hey Roman,” Virgil greeted.

Roman opened his mouth to greet Virgil, but his mind flashed back to the fear he felt upon seeing Virgil in his room and the greeting shriveled up and died on his tongue.

“Roman?” Virgil asked, looking worried.

“Alright, on the couch everyone!” Remus exclaimed, pushing Roman towards the couch. “Yes, all of you, sit down, we are all going to talk to each other like adults before we let our pride get in the way and make us go through like five chapters of shitty communication.”

Roman let Remus push him onto the couch, and once everyone was seated, Remus plopped down next to Roman.

“Alright, Roman has some shit to say, and you’re all gonna listen quietly until he’s done, okay?” Remus said.

There were mumbles of agreement and Remus nodded decisively. Remus squeezed Roman’s hand. “You got this.”

Roman sighed. “Where do I even start?”

“Start with the collar,” Remus suggested.

So Roman started with the collar. He talked about why he wore the collar when he was sick, which meant he talked about his insecurities and the whole wolf thing, and once he started, well, he couldn’t stop. Everything that had been building up came spilling out; everything with the wedding, feeling confused and lost regarding how he was supposed to act,  _ everything _ . And throughout it all, Remus was right next to him, encouraging him to keep going.

It was really cathartic, if he was being honest. Getting it all out in the open felt like a weight lifting off him, and sure enough, no one interrupted him, except to indicate that they were still listening.

When he was finally done, he looked and first saw Janus lurking in the doorway, looking pensive, and then saw Patton, who had tears pouring down his face.

“Roman,” Patton started, his voice thick. “Can I give you a hug?”

“Yeah,” Roman said, and in the next moment Patton crashed into him to wrap him up in a tight hug and Patton’s scent smacked him in the face.

One would expect Patton to smell like pastries or baked goods but no, Patton smelled like clean linens and lemonade, safe and comforting. He’d spent so long next to Remus’ familiar blood and rot scent that Patton’s was like scent-based whiplash. Patton’s scent held the weight of years, and with Patton whispering heart-felt apologies in his ear, it felt like wounds were finally starting to close up.

Remus said something, and then Logan and Virgil were coming up to embrace him too. Virgil leaned against his back and Logan set an awkward hand on his shoulder and Roman felt complete.

Except, well, not quite; nearly but almost. He looked up, and the space Janus had been occupying was empty. Unable to put his finger on what was missing, he decided it wasn’t important and instead focused on the scents of his pack. There was still much to be done and much to be discussed, but as far as Roman was concerned? Things were okay.


End file.
